Minions: The Rise of Gru - The Movie Novel Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Minions: The Rise of Gru © 2022 Universal City Studios LLC. All Rights Reserved.

  Cover design by Ching N. Chan

  Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Little, Brown and Company

  Hachette Book Group

  1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104

  Visit us at LBYR.com

  First Edition: May 2022

  Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2020933240

  ISBNs: 978-0-316-42584-1 (paper over board), 978-0-316-42580-3 (pbk.), 978-0-316-42583-4 (ebook)

  E3-20220325-JV-NF-ORI

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  The Anti-Villain League chased the motorcycle through busy city streets. One of the agents yelled at the villain. “AVL!” he shouted, announcing himself. “Freeze!”

  “Come back here!” the second agent yelled.

  Belle Bottom, a tall, elegant villain in a purple jumpsuit, swerved right on her motorcycle, then left, evading them. She pressed the gas and the motorcycle zoomed forward, moving twice as fast. Soon the agents disappeared behind her.

  “Woooo!” Belle Bottom laughed. “You like that?”

  She turned down an alley and sped into a secret entrance of a store called Criminal Records. The motorcycle screeched to a halt, and she climbed off. Then she took the elevator to the subterranean lair.

  When the doors slid back, Belle Bottom held a map in the air. The Vicious 6, one of the fiercest teams of supervillains, sat at a conference table. There was Svengeance, a hulking blond with pec muscles that could crush skulls. Nun-Chuck, who was always dressed as a nun, concealed all sorts of weapons under her long black habit. Jean-Clawed wore a striped shirt and had one regular hand and one huge red pincer. And Stronghold had a massive silver glove on each hand, which he used to pummel anyone who crossed him. Wild Knuckles was the oldest and the leader of the group.

  “Hooo baby!” Belle Bottom yelled. “The Anti-Villain League can’t catch this! Guess who stole the map?!”

  She passed said map to Svengeance, who threw it to Jean-Clawed, who unrolled the map on the table. Wild Knuckles stared down at it, running his wrinkled hands over the paper. He’d never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

  “Haha,” he said. “Good work. The map to the legendary Zodiac Stone. We will become the most powerful villains in the world! Okay, let’s get a move on! We leave for China tonight!”

  His whole team cheered.

  This next mission was going to be epic….

  The jungle was a dense tangle of trees and vines. Wild Knuckles soared through it with his winged jetpack contraption, weaving back and forth. He might be older than the rest of the Vicious 6, but he could still pursue evil with the best of them.

  He landed in front of a massive waterfall flanked by two dragon statues. There was a rock with a small replica of the statues just a few feet ahead of him. He stared down at the map, then adjusted the replicas to match their positions to a picture hidden in the illustration. In an instant, the huge dragon statues started rumbling and breathing fire, causing the waterfall to evaporate. Where there once was water was now a doorway.

  “I’m in,” Wild Knuckles whispered into his headset, hoping his team could still hear him from all the way down here.

  He’d done horrific, villainous things in his life. Sneaky, underhanded thievery was simple. Easy. But finding the Zodiac Stone here, in the middle of the jungle, would be a new triumph. He took a deep breath and headed inside.

  Wild Knuckles went through the doorway and descended a long flight of stairs. He was trying to be careful, but he took a false step. Then the whole staircase turned into a slide. He zoomed all the way down, deep into the heart of the fortress. He just narrowly missed several razor-sharp spikes at the bottom. When Wild Knuckles finally reached the bottom of the slide, he looked up and saw the Zodiac Stone in the next room over. It was bigger than his fist—a gold thing with tiny emeralds encrusted around the edges. It sat on top of a pedestal, bathed in the light from a single window above.

  “Hello, beautiful,” Wild Knuckles said.

  He went toward the Stone, but just as he reached to grab it, the door behind him slammed shut. Light illuminated warrior statues that encircled the room’s walls. The statues started to shake, coming to life. They advanced on Wild Knuckles, as if to attack.

  Wild Knuckles sprang into action, fighting them off one by one. When the last statue was vanquished, he turned and grabbed the Stone, holding it high in the air.

  “Yes! The Zodiac Stone!” he yelled.

  The walls around him lit up, revealing all the animals of the zodiac painted on them. The animals glowed with a strange light, then rushed off the walls and into the center of the jewels. It was as though all the power of this fortress was now locked inside the Stone.

  “Soon, the power of these unstoppable beasts will be ours!” he cried.

  The ceiling parted, and sunlight streamed in from above. The floor of the room rose up to the sky. Wild Knuckles put the Stone around his neck and kissed it. He’d done it. He’d really done it. He’d found the Stone all by himself.

  When the floor leveled out, Wild Knuckles turned, about to run off into the jungle, when he realized he was surrounded by hundreds of golden guardians. Where had they come from? Did he really have to fight them?

  Wild Knuckles wasn’t given time to consider his options before the guardians took action, dog piling on top of him. Wild Knuckles struggled and managed to bust free of them. He couldn’t fight them off for too long, though. Eventually they backed him up against two large bamboo poles.

  Wild Knuckles scrambled up the poles, but the guardians began cutting them down. Before he could fall, Wild Knuckles took off running to the large dragon head at the top of the fortress, using the bamboo as stilts. He ditched his stilts once he reached the fortress and started climbing its exterior.

  “Hurry up, I got a bunch of deadly tchotchkes on my tail!” he shouted into his headset. His team was supposed to be waiting to help him escape.

  “Roger that on the copy, boss!” the voice of Belle Bottom said.

  Okay…, he thought, relieved. They’re coming for you. But when?
br />   The guardians climbed onto one another’s shoulders, trying to reach Wild Knuckles at the top of the fortress. He kept climbing, and eventually a rope dropped down from the sky. The Super Ship had arrived—the Vicious 6 were here. They’d come to save him!

  “Hurry up! Come on!” Belle Bottom yelled down.

  He grasped the rope and shot up into the air, toward the flying aircraft.

  “Haha!” he yelled. “I got it! I got the Stone!”

  When he was just a few feet away from the bottom of the ship, a face peered over the edge at him. Wild Knuckles was relieved to see Belle Bottom, his second in command. She reached out her arm. He reached up as well, trying to help her hoist him into the aircraft. But instead of helping him, she grabbed the Stone out of his gnarled hand.

  “Party’s over, old man,” she said.

  “Time to say goodbye!” Nun-Chuck crowed from behind Belle Bottom.

  “Hold on—I started this group,” Wild Knuckles shot back. “We’re a team! Where’s your loyalty?”

  “Oh please,” Belle Bottom said. “We’re villains. There’s no such thing.”

  Jean-Clawed reached down and snipped the rope with his giant crab pincer. “It’s time for the next generation!”

  Wild Knuckles went flying into a ravine below. Belle Bottom held up the Stone and laughed an excited, villainous laugh.

  In an ordinary elementary school on an ordinary street, an exceptionally boring teacher stood in front of a class of sixth graders. She wrote Career Day on the chalkboard in big block letters. Then she stared out at her students.

  “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” she asked in a monotone voice. A hand shot up in the back of the room. “Samantha?”

  “I want to be a doctor,” the girl replied. She was always sucking up, telling the teacher exactly what she wanted to hear. Samantha had an answer for everything.

  “Oh, me! Me!” another student cried. “I wanna be a fireman who is also the president and also drives race cars. Yeah!”

  “Exciting,” the teacher said, but she sounded as if she were falling asleep. “And what about you, Gru?”

  The whole class turned around and studied the pale, chubby boy at the back of the class. He wasn’t paying attention and was instead doodling in his notebook. He had a long, beak-like nose and always wore the same gray-and-black-striped scarf. And he had hair—a whole head of it—the thick black mop combed perfectly in place.

  “Gru?” the teacher repeated.

  “Me?” he replied, snapping to attention. He’d drawn himself as a member of the Vicious 6, a group of villains who were his idols. He’d sent an application to join the team ages ago, but he still hadn’t heard back. He had to imagine it was just a formality. When they had an opening, they would definitely call him in for an interview.

  “I want to be… a supervillain,” Gru finally said.

  He leaned back in his chair and smirked. He was going to be the baddest of the bad. The most vicious of the vicious. He couldn’t wait until people saw him flying in the Vicious 6’s Super Ship or scaling the Empire State Building, about to steal the needle from the top.

  The class was quiet. Everyone stared at him. Then, all at once, they started laughing. A girl with blond pigtails laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Gru looked around, wondering what was so funny. Would they all laugh when he robbed the National Treasury? When he took over the world?

  The bell rang, and he stormed out, trying to forget all of them.

  Every day after school, the Minions picked Gru up and took him on fun outings. They always tried to hug and kiss Gru, which he hated. The Minions usually wore their grooviest seventies outfits. They loved bell-bottoms and big sunglasses, and sometimes they styled themselves with sideburns or teased hair. That particular day, the Minions and Gru all went to the movies together to watch Jaws. Gru threw a Fart Grenade into the theater so they could get seats for a sold-out show. After the movie, the Minions took Gru to the arcade. They loved playing Whac-A-Mole, popping out of the machine so Gru could bop them on the head. They also loved helping Gru cheat at the arcade games, ensuring a win every time. After that, they got ice cream.

  When Gru and the Minions got home, the first thing Gru did was go to the mailbox, just as he did every day. He riffled through bills addressed to his mom, some meditation magazines, and some junk mail, finally stopping on a manila envelope that read MR. GRU. He ripped the envelope open. Inside was an 8-track tape from the Vicious 6!

  “Holy guacamole!” Gru yelled, turning to the Minions. “Where can we listen? Where can we listen?”

  He looked around, frantic. He spotted his mom’s car across the driveway. He ran to the car and jumped inside, shoving the plastic cartridge into the player. The Minions all crammed in next to him. They watched as a hologram of Belle Bottom materialized.

  “Hello, Mr. Gru,” Belle Bottom said. “We’ve received your application to the world’s best supervillain team, the Vicious 6.”

  Bob, one of the Minions, was confused by the hologram and kept trying to grab it. Stuart, another Minion, had to physically restrain him to get him to stop. Belle Bottom continued.

  “A recent opening has become available and…”

  “And?!” Gru yelled, unable to wait for her to finish the sentence.

  “Your interview is tomorrow at noon,” she said.

  “Woo-hooo!” Gru yelled. “Dy-no-mite!”

  “Dy-no-mite!” the Minions repeated.

  “Please go to 417 Main Street. The password is ‘You’re no good,’” Belle Bottom explained.

  “You’re no good,” Gru read the words as they appeared in the hologram. He loved how they sounded. “Hmmm.”

  “Now get on up on the downstroke, ’cause this invitation is gonna explode, baby!” Belle Bottom said.

  “Explode?” Gru asked, glancing at the Minions. “No, no, no…”

  He reached for the door, but before he could get out, the tape exploded in a cloud of smoke. The Minions darted out of the car, coughing and hacking, their little lungs hurting. Bob choo-chooed like a train. Every time he opened his mouth, a puff of gray smoke flew out.

  After dusting themselves off, the Minions followed Gru to his bedroom. The walls were covered in Vicious 6 posters, and tiny figurines of his heroes lined his desk. He had Vicious 6 hats and Vicious 6 underwear. Whenever he wore them, he felt powerful.

  “Come on, let’s go tell the troops the good news,” Gru said, leading the Minions into his closet. He grabbed an empty hanger and yanked hard, releasing a trapdoor. Gru and the Minions flew down a long slide and into the bunker below.

  The Minions were still finishing Gru’s evil lair. They hummed and whistled while they worked, hammering away and pouring concrete. Gru looked around at their progress.

  “This is fantastic! Oh, construction looks great, guys!” he said. “My first evil lair. Goose bumps!”

  A Minion walked past with dynamite. Just seconds later, something exploded. Gru watched as two Minions rushed past him with a stretcher. He laughed nervously.

  “Well, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, am I right?” he said.

  He walked over to Ryan, a Minion jackhammering away at the earth, breaking up giant chunks of rock.

  “Great job, Ryan!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

  “What?” Ryan yelled back.

  “I said, great job!” Gru screamed even louder. But when Ryan didn’t hear, Gru just said, “Never mind.”

  “Joe, how’s the family?” Gru called to a Minion lighting a blowtorch. Before Joe could respond, the blowtorch blasted the little guy in the face, burning off his eyebrows. Gru just tiptoed away. It was more than a little awkward.

  “Okay, everybody, get over here,” Gru said to the Minions. “Now listen up. Buckle your overalls. Hold on to your goggles…. The Vicious 6 want to meet me! Tomorrow!”

  A chant started somewhere in the back of the crowd and grew louder. “Mini Boss! Mini Boss!” the Minions cheere
d.

  “All right, all right!” Gru finally said. “I’m not a mini! Please stop calling me that. And also, they haven’t accepted me yet.”

  A short, round Minion with a mouthful of braces came up to Gru. His name was Otto, and he immediately started babbling. He launched into an extremely long, and kind of annoying, pep talk in gibberish. Gru just stood there and politely listened.

  “Blah blah blah…,” Kevin said, making fun of Otto.

  “Yes… mmmhmmm…,” Gru said, hoping Otto would stop on his own.

  But the Minion kept going, rambling on with words Gru only half understood. He said something about Gru being the evilest and the Vicious 6 being lucky to have him.

  “Oooookay,” Gru said, interrupting. “You know what would be fun? Let’s play the quiet game!”

  Otto nodded and closed his mouth. But every few seconds he’d open it again, as if he were about to say something else. It was almost impossible for him to stop talking completely.

  “Anyway,” Gru went on. “Thanks for the hard work today, everyone. I gotta go get some rest—tomorrow is the biggest day of my life!”

  Gru hopped onto a ladder, which raised him back up to his room. The whole time Gru got ready for bed, he kept imagining himself in the Vicious 6. Laughing and chatting with them in their Super Ship. Going on long, faraway missions to the Bermuda Triangle or to steal the Great Wall of China.

  He had a whole speech planned out. He’d been rehearsing it for months, ever since he first sent in his application. He wanted to tell them how long he’d admired their work. He was going to tell them about his evil lair and how he’d spent his whole short life preparing to be the baddest of the bad.

  Gru climbed into his bed and turned out the light. He knew he needed a good night’s sleep so he would be ready for tomorrow’s interview. But he couldn’t resist shining his flashlight onto a poster of the Vicious 6 so he could see them one last time.

  “Oh, these guys are the best,” he said. “Can’t believe it.”

  He heard a sound in his closet. When he moved the flashlight, he lit up Bob, who’d climbed up from the lair. Bob was in his pajamas, and his eyes were wide, as if he were frightened.